Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Baby Update (until I come up with a better title)

No, no, no...there's still no baby/babies. And Val's not telling whether she ate any cheesecake, and she has sworn Scott to secrecy.

I did get them back home in Pleasantview just long enough for her to go into her second trimester.

And there's the baby bump. Awwww...



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Since I was not ready to leave the beach, though, I sent them right back on another 7 day vacation. So far, Val's pretty much done nothing but sleep, pee, and eat. You know, kinda like real me.

They get back to Joe's beachhouse, and Val has to marvel at how I did such a good job of picking out a regular outfit that could double as maternity wear! Okay, that was me marveling. She's marveling at the wonder of the life growing inside her. Whatever.



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What a sweet and thoughtful guy Shep is, taking over backrub duty so his brother can fart hearts.



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Scott farts hearts a lot.



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So does Shep. Val is so SHEXY! (You gotta look for those hearts. They've floated nearly out of the picture. I was late with the picture-taking )



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Eh? What is this? Is there some trick with crepes suzette and triplets, perhaps?



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"I am unfazed that my middle finger has burst into flame."



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"And, voila! You thought I was a one-trick pony with the cheesecake, didn't ya?"



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Is Ty feeling a little threatened that he and Reese are going to lose their status as the babies of the family?



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No, Ty is confident he'll never stop being a baby. But Reese hasn't come out of her room. She has dyed her hair black and stopped bathing, in protest.



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Scott went upstairs to try to talk to her, but it was an unpleasant experience. The stench emanating from under his daughter's arms was nearly unbearable.



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But he's a good dad, and he consoled his angsty, smelly daughter.



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And consoled.



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And consoled some more. All without inhaling.



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But a man can only take so much not-breathing.



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He did manage to cheer his little girl up, and she took a shower. The world became a much nicer place. Will she keep the dark hair? She hasn't decided, yet.



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She even made peace with her mother. Let's hope the change of heart is not fleeting. We'd hate to have a greasy-haired, stinky little diva on our hands when the baby comes along, wouldn't we?



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A little brother-sister twin competition is in order. Wii!



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Now Scott and Val are going to provide you with some saccharine sweetness, guaranteed to cause a cavity by the end of this thread!

Sweeeeeet...



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Aw, so happy...



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Can't you just smell roses in the air?



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A Hallmark Moment.



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Okay, we get the picture, guys.



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Guys?



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Guys? Guy, gal, and baby/ies, specifically? Enough with the sugar! (And you are to please ignore the Shawn peeing in the shrubbery by the pool!)



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Shep is tired of it, and he's going to do something about it! (And you are to please ignore the Brandon, who so desperately needs a shower, in the background!)



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Shep is going to build a strategically-placed sandcastle in front the two lovebirds, so they can't get off the bench. They'll eventually get sick of each other, right?



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But, damn, those playful points get him every time.



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So he decides, "What the hell. I'll just mope on the other bench. At least I look hot doing it."



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Upstairs, Brandon throws a tantrum. He wants so much out of life, and it's a vicious cycle with the trashcan-kicking, bringing the roaches, which is his big fear, causing much aspiration plummetage, which leads to more trashcan-kicking...



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And now for something completely different. Or not so different. Shep and Scott are twins.



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Do I see possible discomfort in Scott's face?



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Okay, yeah, that is definitely discomfort. "Wouldja get off my wife, already?!"



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But he's the one she climbs into bed with, every night. And he's the one who sleeps with his hand on her boobie. (For real! Check it out!)



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Yup, Scott's the one who goes to sleep with a smile on his face.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

114 Cheesecakes: Overkill?

That night, Scott was plagued by nightmares. What effect *could* 114 cheesecakes have on his unborn child, anyway?



Welcome to the world little one!



Time for a little father-son bonding.



Maybe a game of 8 ball...



Aww, he's got daddy's flair for freestyle.




Lookit him do the Bustamove for Uncle Shep...



Oooh, seems the tot has a 'tude, though. Maybe it's time for a diaper change.



"I need to watch some Nick at Nite, or something. Sheesh."



Scott heads downstairs to watch some tv. Chill out, a little. That was some dream!



"Okay, I'm cool, everything's cool. No big baby, no mondo diaper change. Just a bad dream..."



"Oh, hey, Junior!"



"J-J-Junior??"" *gulp*



"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute. That cheesecake thing is a...TWINS CHEAT!"



"Now what?"



"You okay, baby?"

"I'm phine, thanx. And please don't say 'baby'!!"